Brain Trust Live

In Which We Discuss:

1. What is it that drives Hillary Clinton destroy everything that she loves?  What will become of her beloved TPP?

2. With McCarthy gone and the GOP in shambles, we’re all in some danger of becoming Speaker of the House.  Is there an opt-out form somewhere?

3. If any of the 158 families determining the next election results are listening, we have a campaign we’d like to talk chat about.  We accept checks.

4. Ben Carson’s gun control prescription: find a human shield or raise an army of casual handgun owners.  #assuredsuccess  

5. POLITICON.  It happened.  We were there.  We can confirm that Michele Bachmann is a real person with human DNA, FYI.  It was a weird day.

6. Guys, there’s a Democratic debate Tuesday night on CNN.  You should watch that.

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In Which We Discuss: 

1. Not much actual hearing going on at the congressional Planned Parenthood yammerings

2. Kevin McCarthy’s Speaker candidacy unravels after an accidental moment of honesty

3. Oregon shooting is a remarkable reminder of how unremarkable it is to be talking about mass shootings in America

4. Bernie Sanders...the oldest guy to ever be THIS trendy

5. Hillary Clinton would love to support gays, but she can’t, mainly because she just just doesn’t wanna

6. Kim Davis: just one more American who doesn’t know Pope

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Hey guys, what does it mean that Boehner is being remembered by Democrats as a great compromiser?  Should we be concerned?

2. Walker can’t stand the figurative and literal heat at the Reagan library GOP debates

3. Florida’s entry into the GOP race is on the rise...it’s just not Bush

4. The Democratic poll numbers are fucking bananas

5. Pope’s visit finally puts the spotlight on the greatest celebrity water thief in American history.  Somebody elected this person to office, btw.

6. Who would have guessed that the makers of the adorable Beetle hatchback would be up to something so nefarious?  Only students of German history.

7.  Brazen sea turtle riding on the rise in...you guessed it...Florida!

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In Which We Discuss:

1. The latest polls prove that America is ready to accept almost anyone other than another Bush or Clinton

2.  Europe is Shocked, Shocked, SHOCKED that over 3 million Syrians don’t really want to stay in war-torn Syria

3. Hillary Clinton is outed as America’s unsung gefilte fish hero

4. Some enticing offers from the GOP front: Jeb Bush will speak Spanish wherever he damn well pleases, and Donald trump will be “good at the military”

5. Democrats finally rustle up enough Democrats to back Obama’s Democratic Iran deal

6. Thrice married and unwed mother Kim Davis becomes hero for Christians everywhere

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In Which We Discuss:

1. “Surprising” new Iowa polls show that everything we’ve always said would happen is happening now in Iowa, where we said it would happen

2. GOP candidates are ready with plans for our next immigration war with...Canada?

3. O’Malley and Sanders are not afraid to get all up in Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s face

4. Apparently stealing a single Mountain Dew while Black (#SMDWB?) in America is yet another offense police punish by death

5. The sanitation strike in Beirut is bad enough that it’s spawned a rare multi-religious movement (as well as great PR for their new sanitation service, Uber)

6. VMA’s are happening.  Ew.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Brent went to the Iowa State fair for you, so you wouldn’t have to eat fried butter.

2. Americans can rest easy knowing that Donald Trump has promised to never ride a bicycle or eat Oreos ever again.  Whew, relief!

3. Scott Walker has an opinion on the 14th Amendment.  Actually, he has all of the opinions.

4. Hillary Clinton email scandal has gotten so bad, even Joe Biden thinks maybe he could be president now.

5. Greek prime minister calls news elections in effort to run against his past sel

6. Ashley Madison leak provides most comprehensive list of evangelical Christians ever compiled

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In Which We Discuss:

1. We recount every moment you wanted to relive at the first official Republican Debate.  So...basically all of them.

2. Like women who can’t shut down pregnancies in cases of “legitimate” rape, the GOP can’t seem to shut down the compulsion to make insensitive comments about women

3. Hillary’s Dems to their own base: Hey guys, is debating really the answer when we’ve already chosen the candidate?

4. Schumer comes out against Iran deal because, why not be a tool?

5. Like the rest of mainstream history, gay history is now popular enough to be whitewashed in film

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In Which We Discuss:

1. First GOP debate just days away and there is no way to discredit Trump in time.  Lookout!

2.  Huckabee plans to distinguish himself before the debates as the only candidate ready to call the military in to stop your abortion

3. Obama will introduce new climate change measures, but not in time to stop this nightmarish heatwave in Iran

4. Black lives may not matter to some Americans, but lion lives sure do.  A dead lion trumps another police murder as the week’s top story. 

5. Send your computer friends to Canada, guys.  Turns out American streets are not safe for hitchhiking robots.  

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Sandra Bland is the latest black life that didn’t matter to police. 

2. In a trend no one but us saw coming, the more Hillary Clinton talks, the more everyone stops wanting to listen.  

3. Trump continues to crush it in the polls, driving the other candidates to reality show levels of desperation. 

4. Louisiana takes its rightful place on the list of states with recent mass shootings.  A proud day for Bobby Jindal.

5. Congress questions John Kerry on his thoughts on Iranian Unicorns

6. Obama visits his fake homeland, Kenya, and spreads the message that gays are humans too.  Kenyans remain unconvinced.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Heartbreak in the war hawk community as Iran nuclear deal robs them of a reason to rumble

2. As if just living in Tennessee isn’t its own brand of terror, their standard American-issue mass shootings are now getting complicated by non-redneck political ideologies

3. Donald Trump picks fights with “maverick” John McCain, but luckily for everyone he also picked a fight with Mexican drug lord El Chapo so somebody may rid us of the Trump problem soon anyway

4. Democrats first “cattle call” gives Iowa party activists a look at all 5 candidates, leaving many of them to wonder...Hey, what are most of you guys doing here?

5. Phoenix feels the Bern with the biggest campaign rally of the season.  For anybody wondering, that does mean Sherrif Arpaio's Arizona just had the biggest rally of the season for a Socialist. 

6. Oklahomans are residents of a state that didn’t exist at the time of the civil war and they are also people that just waved the confederate flag at Obama.  That kind of sums up what’s going on in Oklahoma.

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