Brain Trust Live

In Which We Discuss:

1. Paul Ryan is adorably optimistic for a guy who just became House Speaker

2. Maybe the GOP’s distaste for facts explains why their “frontrunner” is in 4th place after the third debate. Has a supposed GOP frontrunner even been in the lead yet?

3. Rubio is on a collision course with fellow candidates and fellow facts 

4. Entire media misses the point of the Sanders campaign in their quest to sensationalize Hillary’s endorsement pick-ups

5. Clinton emails continue to prove that Hillary really really really doesn’t know how to operate a fax machine.  Why was this still a problem in 2012?

6. Military blimp with an adventurous spirit breaks free of its shackles and goes joy-flying around Pennsylvani

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Benghazi hearings prove that Hillary Clinton could have been a champion filibusterer. Oh, what could have been!

2. The Democratic post-debate carnage was so bad that they lost candidates who weren’t even running.

3. Sorry Jeb!, it turns out that all the money in the world can’t buy you...campaign contributors?

4. Iowa Frontrunner Ben Carson’s biggest political weakness turns out to be his only professional qualification

5. Paul Ryan’s diagnosis after joining the speaker race: politically suicidal.  Let’s have some fun!

6. House needs a pick-me-up after failed Benghazi hearings, decides to repeal Obamacare again because that’s always comforting

7. No matter where he is, what he’s doing, or which gays he’s passing judgement on, David Vitter will hire a prostitute because regular friend won’t have sex with you for money

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In Which We Discuss: 

1. Not much actual hearing going on at the congressional Planned Parenthood yammerings

2. Kevin McCarthy’s Speaker candidacy unravels after an accidental moment of honesty

3. Oregon shooting is a remarkable reminder of how unremarkable it is to be talking about mass shootings in America

4. Bernie Sanders...the oldest guy to ever be THIS trendy

5. Hillary Clinton would love to support gays, but she can’t, mainly because she just just doesn’t wanna

6. Kim Davis: just one more American who doesn’t know Pope

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Hey guys, what does it mean that Boehner is being remembered by Democrats as a great compromiser?  Should we be concerned?

2. Walker can’t stand the figurative and literal heat at the Reagan library GOP debates

3. Florida’s entry into the GOP race is on the rise...it’s just not Bush

4. The Democratic poll numbers are fucking bananas

5. Pope’s visit finally puts the spotlight on the greatest celebrity water thief in American history.  Somebody elected this person to office, btw.

6. Who would have guessed that the makers of the adorable Beetle hatchback would be up to something so nefarious?  Only students of German history.

7.  Brazen sea turtle riding on the rise in...you guessed it...Florida!

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In Which We Discuss:

1. The latest polls prove that America is ready to accept almost anyone other than another Bush or Clinton

2.  Europe is Shocked, Shocked, SHOCKED that over 3 million Syrians don’t really want to stay in war-torn Syria

3. Hillary Clinton is outed as America’s unsung gefilte fish hero

4. Some enticing offers from the GOP front: Jeb Bush will speak Spanish wherever he damn well pleases, and Donald trump will be “good at the military”

5. Democrats finally rustle up enough Democrats to back Obama’s Democratic Iran deal

6. Thrice married and unwed mother Kim Davis becomes hero for Christians everywhere

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In Which We Discuss:

1. We recount every moment you wanted to relive at the first official Republican Debate.  So...basically all of them.

2. Like women who can’t shut down pregnancies in cases of “legitimate” rape, the GOP can’t seem to shut down the compulsion to make insensitive comments about women

3. Hillary’s Dems to their own base: Hey guys, is debating really the answer when we’ve already chosen the candidate?

4. Schumer comes out against Iran deal because, why not be a tool?

5. Like the rest of mainstream history, gay history is now popular enough to be whitewashed in film

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In Which We Discuss:

1. First GOP debate just days away and there is no way to discredit Trump in time.  Lookout!

2.  Huckabee plans to distinguish himself before the debates as the only candidate ready to call the military in to stop your abortion

3. Obama will introduce new climate change measures, but not in time to stop this nightmarish heatwave in Iran

4. Black lives may not matter to some Americans, but lion lives sure do.  A dead lion trumps another police murder as the week’s top story. 

5. Send your computer friends to Canada, guys.  Turns out American streets are not safe for hitchhiking robots.  

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Heartbreak in the war hawk community as Iran nuclear deal robs them of a reason to rumble

2. As if just living in Tennessee isn’t its own brand of terror, their standard American-issue mass shootings are now getting complicated by non-redneck political ideologies

3. Donald Trump picks fights with “maverick” John McCain, but luckily for everyone he also picked a fight with Mexican drug lord El Chapo so somebody may rid us of the Trump problem soon anyway

4. Democrats first “cattle call” gives Iowa party activists a look at all 5 candidates, leaving many of them to wonder...Hey, what are most of you guys doing here?

5. Phoenix feels the Bern with the biggest campaign rally of the season.  For anybody wondering, that does mean Sherrif Arpaio's Arizona just had the biggest rally of the season for a Socialist. 

6. Oklahomans are residents of a state that didn’t exist at the time of the civil war and they are also people that just waved the confederate flag at Obama.  That kind of sums up what’s going on in Oklahoma.

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In Which We Discuss:

1.  Bernie Sanders hates your cable company just as much as you, and that’s why he’s can be the President.

2. Alan Grayson has a novel idea: running as an actual Democrat in a Democratic primary.  Guess who the establishment people are supporting…

3. Donald Trump reminds us that he’s, “like, a really smart person.”  His surge in the polls proves that Republican primary voters are, like, really dumb people.

4. Jeb Bush currently has all the money but don’t worry, if you work longer hours it’ll trickle down.  That’s worked in history, right?

5.  If Germany can Shock Doctrine Greece, does this mean that California can Shock Doctrine Kansas and get rid of Sam Brownback?

6.Why can Republicans never remember the third thing?  Now even Texas border states are suffering from this scourge.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. SCOTUS continues it’s move to the left as Scalia continues his slow descent into jiggery-pokery

2. Alabama and Bree Newsome show SC and America that taking an offensive flag down is as easy as...removing a flag

3. Bernie Sanders proves he’s a contender by facing his first slate of attacks...ever.

4. Bobby Jindal announces presidential run in homemade horror film

5. It only takes two words to explain why abstinence-only education doesn’t work: Bristol Palin

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