Brain Trust Live

In Which We Discuss:

1. Benghazi hearings prove that Hillary Clinton could have been a champion filibusterer. Oh, what could have been!

2. The Democratic post-debate carnage was so bad that they lost candidates who weren’t even running.

3. Sorry Jeb!, it turns out that all the money in the world can’t buy you...campaign contributors?

4. Iowa Frontrunner Ben Carson’s biggest political weakness turns out to be his only professional qualification

5. Paul Ryan’s diagnosis after joining the speaker race: politically suicidal.  Let’s have some fun!

6. House needs a pick-me-up after failed Benghazi hearings, decides to repeal Obamacare again because that’s always comforting

7. No matter where he is, what he’s doing, or which gays he’s passing judgement on, David Vitter will hire a prostitute because regular friend won’t have sex with you for money

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In Which We Discuss: 

1. Not much actual hearing going on at the congressional Planned Parenthood yammerings

2. Kevin McCarthy’s Speaker candidacy unravels after an accidental moment of honesty

3. Oregon shooting is a remarkable reminder of how unremarkable it is to be talking about mass shootings in America

4. Bernie Sanders...the oldest guy to ever be THIS trendy

5. Hillary Clinton would love to support gays, but she can’t, mainly because she just just doesn’t wanna

6. Kim Davis: just one more American who doesn’t know Pope

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In Which We Discuss:

1. The latest polls prove that America is ready to accept almost anyone other than another Bush or Clinton

2.  Europe is Shocked, Shocked, SHOCKED that over 3 million Syrians don’t really want to stay in war-torn Syria

3. Hillary Clinton is outed as America’s unsung gefilte fish hero

4. Some enticing offers from the GOP front: Jeb Bush will speak Spanish wherever he damn well pleases, and Donald trump will be “good at the military”

5. Democrats finally rustle up enough Democrats to back Obama’s Democratic Iran deal

6. Thrice married and unwed mother Kim Davis becomes hero for Christians everywhere

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In Which We Discuss:

1. We recount every moment you wanted to relive at the first official Republican Debate.  So...basically all of them.

2. Like women who can’t shut down pregnancies in cases of “legitimate” rape, the GOP can’t seem to shut down the compulsion to make insensitive comments about women

3. Hillary’s Dems to their own base: Hey guys, is debating really the answer when we’ve already chosen the candidate?

4. Schumer comes out against Iran deal because, why not be a tool?

5. Like the rest of mainstream history, gay history is now popular enough to be whitewashed in film

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In Which We Discuss:

1. First GOP debate just days away and there is no way to discredit Trump in time.  Lookout!

2.  Huckabee plans to distinguish himself before the debates as the only candidate ready to call the military in to stop your abortion

3. Obama will introduce new climate change measures, but not in time to stop this nightmarish heatwave in Iran

4. Black lives may not matter to some Americans, but lion lives sure do.  A dead lion trumps another police murder as the week’s top story. 

5. Send your computer friends to Canada, guys.  Turns out American streets are not safe for hitchhiking robots.  

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Sandra Bland is the latest black life that didn’t matter to police. 

2. In a trend no one but us saw coming, the more Hillary Clinton talks, the more everyone stops wanting to listen.  

3. Trump continues to crush it in the polls, driving the other candidates to reality show levels of desperation. 

4. Louisiana takes its rightful place on the list of states with recent mass shootings.  A proud day for Bobby Jindal.

5. Congress questions John Kerry on his thoughts on Iranian Unicorns

6. Obama visits his fake homeland, Kenya, and spreads the message that gays are humans too.  Kenyans remain unconvinced.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. SCOTUS continues it’s move to the left as Scalia continues his slow descent into jiggery-pokery

2. Alabama and Bree Newsome show SC and America that taking an offensive flag down is as easy as...removing a flag

3. Bernie Sanders proves he’s a contender by facing his first slate of attacks...ever.

4. Bobby Jindal announces presidential run in homemade horror film

5. It only takes two words to explain why abstinence-only education doesn’t work: Bristol Palin

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Like the president and Jon Stewart, we’re sick and tired of thinking of something new to say about white domestic terrorists and their totally legal super-deadly arsenals.

2. Proving they’re only 250 years behind the times, South Carolina may finally take down their state confederate flag.  It’s time to admit the dream is dead, guys.

3. Speaking of dreams, 2016 is going to be the year we finally get to officially not vote for Donald Trump.

4. Math and science finally prove that once you know Bernie Sanders, you have no choice but to love him. 

5. The GOP’s Catholic hopefuls now must explain why their faith is guiding them to deny science even the Pope knows is true.

6. Women continue to get 77% of what they ask for in their battle to be on the $20

7. North Korea cures everything using a top secret combination minerals and derring-do.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Out of literally nowhere, Democrats grow a pair and spurn Obama and Republicans on TPP. 

2. Hillary Clinton re-launch proves that she is physically capable of reading the same words that Bernie Sanders once said and meant.  

3. Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio apparently never finished high school English

4. Michele Bachmann brought about the straw poll endtimes with her 2012 win.  Whatever will Ben Carson do now?

5. Every once in a while America comes together around one story to collectively win the internet.  This week, Rachel Dolezal was that story.

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In Which We Discuss:

1. Mitch McConnell becomes the first man in history to accomplish the task of making John Boehner look competent

2. Southern Republican Leadership Conference polls members, chooses flavor of the month, gives Ted Cruz’s father the platform he’s been waiting for

3. GOP hopefuls know ISIS is a problem, promise that after the primary, they’ll come up with a plan

4. Turns out you only need the first 14 Duggars to generate the incest-y scandal we’ve been anticipating

5. Mike Huckabee’s knows for certain that we’d NEVER tolerate allowing SCOTUS to choose the president.  He’s a walking encyclopedia...of non-facts.

6. Hillary Clinton doesn’t remember that  that failed 2008 run and, according to her resume, neither should you

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