Brain Trust Live

BTL #150 - THE ANNIVERSARY BONANZA (GUEST: GRANT SLOSS) - 4/13/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Hillary is IN...but ONLY if you watched until the very end of that Kaiser Permanente video she’s passing off as a campaign announcement

2. Rand Paul is also in, and he’s already beating Hillary.  Lindsay Graham is also in, but he’s only running against Rand.  Former Republican Lincoln Chaffee’s also in, but just to make sure there’s someone to Hillary’s...left?

3. Republicans and racists alike have finally found a shooting of an unarmed black man they can denounce.  So...progress?

4. Rahm Emanuel just barely avoids being Christine Quinn’d, can now victoriously continue closing schools and free health clinics.  Hooray!

5. Tom Cotton has a detailed plan for Iran.  Step one: Bomb them.  Step two...actually there’s no step two.  It’s a simple plan, really.

6. Finally, we’ll take a terrifying walk down memory lane and revisit the news of BTL #1! 

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BTL #148 - AMATEUR BOXING - 3/30/15

In Which We Discuss:

1.  Finally chance to remember the knockouts in Harry Reid’s amateur boxing career, mediocre Senate career

2. A beloved french fry restaurant, site of many an important high school gossip summit, now sits in a pile of rubble due to East Village explosion tragedy

3. 2016 presidential field split on important issues like male pattern baldness, country music, monarchy 

4. Indiana finally gives everybody a reason to ban travel to Indiana, a net win for all Americans

5. Ellen Pao loses lawsuit, still wins at proving the tech industry is a disgusting rich boys club

6. Christian minister knows she’s a prophet because hollywood films are super predictable

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BTL #147 - CANADIAN GAMES - 3/24/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. First ever Canadian candidate officially declares his intention to run in the 2016 American presidential race.  CANADA IS FINALLY TRYING THIS, GUYS!!

2. Hillary Clinton promises that from now on she’ll tell the press directly if she’s going to yoga

3. Israel choses hate over peace, spying over diplomacy, bad polling over good polling.  Obama chooses letting them fuck off over actually caring anymore.

4. GOP Congress gets another chance to totally bungle the budget process this week

5. Happy Birthday to the only 5 year old on earth you’d actually want to hang out with...Obamacare!

6. Floridians now required to seek medical attention for belief in climate science, daring to improve the gene pool

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BTL #140 - AWESOME CHALLENGES - 1/3/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Sunday’s American Anti-Wife Beating Commercial Day ended, tellingly, with a brawl 

2. Reminder: Jeb Bush is the bullying, pothead Bush child that didn’t even make it to Yale, and we know it wasn’t because of the cost

3. Hillary Clinton will enjoy several more months of running for president without actually running 

4. Romney may be gone but his legacy is not forgotten as a new generation of GOP hopefuls face the awesome challenges of public chair-sitting

5. We’ll name every traitorous Democrat that voted for Keystone this week and put them in our anti-prayers

6. D’Angelo is a person we can appreciate without listening to

7. Science has finally proven what this podcast proves every week: that liberals are biologically superior

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BTL #137 - CASTRATION FLIRTATION - 1/12/15

In Which We Discuss:

 1. 114th Congress makes plans to castrate both pigs and themselves in the start of their new session

 2. Jobs numbers prove that no matter how great the economy claims to be, broke people don’t care. Ugg, idiot poor people and their dumb need to eat!

 3. Romney family gathers at their ski-slope-car-elevator-dressage-stage to ponder Mitt’s presidential future/tell Americans that Jeb Bush is out of touch

4. Staten Island is acting as Staten Island is wont to act.  You get it...

 5. North Korea now facing two scourges: floating balloons filled with copies of The Interview and terrorist sharks!

6. Kirby DeLauter is the man named Kirby DeLauter who proved that local journalism is not dead.  (Kirby DeLauter)

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BTL #136 - CONCEDING TO GOOD IDEAS - 12/22/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Obama establishes full diplomatic relations with Cuba, angering conservative Floridians everywhere.  Because nothing says “conceding to tyranny” like diplomatic relations!

2. Governor Andrew Cuomo finally confirms what everyone with flammable drinking water has known for ages, bans fracking in New York

3. Remember that movie that you weren’t going to see with your family on Christmas, The Interview?  You can now carry on with that plan guilt-free after Sony pulls it over possible North Korean terrorist threats. 

4. NY Mag follows in Rolling Stone’s lazy footsteps by not checking any sources in Stuyvesant student’s fake $72 million dollar stock market fortune.

5. Mitt Romney still leads republican presidential polls?  Thankfully Donald Trump looks to challenge him in a battle for the nomination, and title of most out of touch uber-rich old white man in America.

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BTL #135 - PRESSING ITEMS OF NATIONAL INTEREST - 12/15/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. CIA torture report proves that a) we’ve been in the grasp of a huge sneaking evil for years and b) Dianne Feinstein has an ounce of fight left in her after all.

2. Dick Cheney’s new heart only new in the literal sense.  His metaphorical heart is just as evil and unfeeling as it always was.

3. New UN climate deal nixes the pledges and opts for the helpful non-binding suggestions way of dealing with major polluters.

4. Pig diarrhea among the many pressing items of national interest addressed by the new, amendment-laden house spending bill.

5. Much of the left is now Ready for Warren.  Either none of or all of the right is ready for Jeb.

6. Ferguson Eric Garner Protests still going strong

7. Angelina Jolie and Amy Pascal share a hug (and grimace) heard ‘round the world in Sony leaks aftermath.

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BTL #133 - SHOP TO VOTE - 12/2/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Serious question: Should we move election day to Black Friday?  At least that’s a day 

people like to leave their houses.

2. Ferguson non-indictment rightly leads to the opposite of hugs and rainbows.

3. Chuck Hagel glowers through most aggressively awkward resignation ceremony in history.

4. Republican panic over their own Benghazi report proves that even they know what they don’t know, but facts are so boring.

5. Who is Jim Webb?  Answer: Not the president.  Also, not anybody.

6. Teen criminal turned GOP know-it-all implores Obama daughters to act classier, forgets that she’s the one who’s been arrested for stealing from a Belk department store.

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BTL #131 - NOTHING CAN'T BE UNDONE - 11/10/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. As far as elections go, we’re not going to say everything is hopeless, but we are going to say that you need to do better next time, America!  We’ve blogged about how: Post-Election Blues: 14 Ways To Get Even

2. Voters everywhere voted both for and against everything they stand for this election day.  Hey voters,  you don’t get to have two opinions on the same issue!

3. The Lame Duck session is shaping up to look more like a healthy and virile duck session.

4. SCOTUS invites a serious case of deja vu with a slate of new, high-profile cases that suspiciously like the old ones.

5. We now have 3,000 troops in Iraq, but don’t worry, they aren’t “one the ground.”  The are just soldiers deployed to a war-torn region who have no particular mandate or agenda...nothing to see here.

6. Goodbye Michele Bachmann and Steve Stockman, hello Glen Grothman, who will carry on your tradition of rhyming last names and insane agendas.

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*We apologize for the audio issue at the very end of the podcast.  Audio geniuses we are not, but hilarity geniuses?  That you can count on!

BTL #129 - IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE - 10/27/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Another school shooting, but instead of gun control, lets talk about EBOLA!  It knows where you live!

2. Alaskan pollsters just can’t know who lives in Alaska and how to reach them.  Hopefully next year’s races won’t be so close and they can get back to their real love: drunken limo brawling.

3. Fearing a repeat of Bush-Clinton, Liz Warren is not not running for president.  She is instead aware of the many “possibilities that the future might bring.”

4. In military tactical news, man on man massage is how the terrorists win.

5. Every once in a while, reality stars are forced to live in reality.  RIP Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Join the millions of barking dogs who love our podcast and tell your friends about BTL!  Then rate us on iTunes or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Stitcher, or Instagram!