Brain Trust Live

BTL #131 - NOTHING CAN'T BE UNDONE - 11/10/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. As far as elections go, we’re not going to say everything is hopeless, but we are going to say that you need to do better next time, America!  We’ve blogged about how: Post-Election Blues: 14 Ways To Get Even

2. Voters everywhere voted both for and against everything they stand for this election day.  Hey voters,  you don’t get to have two opinions on the same issue!

3. The Lame Duck session is shaping up to look more like a healthy and virile duck session.

4. SCOTUS invites a serious case of deja vu with a slate of new, high-profile cases that suspiciously like the old ones.

5. We now have 3,000 troops in Iraq, but don’t worry, they aren’t “one the ground.”  The are just soldiers deployed to a war-torn region who have no particular mandate or agenda...nothing to see here.

6. Goodbye Michele Bachmann and Steve Stockman, hello Glen Grothman, who will carry on your tradition of rhyming last names and insane agendas.

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*We apologize for the audio issue at the very end of the podcast.  Audio geniuses we are not, but hilarity geniuses?  That you can count on!

BTL #130 - THE SOAP OPERA EPIDEMIC - 11/3/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. We’re going to lose the Senate, guys.  Sorry we’ve been lying to you.  Cali sun and whatnot...

2. Colorado sneaks a personhood amendment onto the ballot by convincing voters it will save their unborn babies from drunk drivers.  Screw you, Colorado!

3. Do not mess with Kaci Hicox.  She WILL take a one-hour rural bike ride if she damn well pleases.

4. North Korea is on the frontlines of the war against Japenese Ebola and South Korean Soap Operas, both epidemics invented by North Korea.

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BTL #125 - TOWNS WITH DOORS - 9/29/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. A couple of ISIS bombings and Republicans are already excited about the prospect of boots on the ground in unnecessary war.

2. Thanks to Senate discord, Eric Holder’s resignation might end up just being for show.

3. After Obama’s fake #lattesalute gaffe, how long will we have to wait for a pumpkin spice latte salute campaign from Starbucks (#PSL).

4. The struggle is real for would-be murderers who just happen to be Muslim.  It’s hard to be notorious when Al Qaeda gets all the credit for your crimes. 

5. Value Voters can’t decide whether gay marriage is just boring or a scourge on society, but they all seem to know who Ben Carson is.

6. Self-appointed Real-Life Disney Princess sues Disney for stealing her tale of having a sister and living in a village with doors.

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BTL #123 - LIPSTICK ON A TRACK - 9/15/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. The Palin family’s extracurriculars prove that you can put lipstick on a drunk shirtless man giving the finger to everybody, but it’s still a Track Palin

2. The US may or may not be at war with ISIS, but it’s definitely at war with itself over foreign policy semantics

3. Left-wing “money for schools, not for war” demand takes on bizarrely literal meaning

4. America learns an important lesson: refusing to acknowledge a political opponent named Zephyr Teachout is a fool’s errand

5. Hillary Clinton proves she’s running for president by pretending to believe “steak frys” are a real thing

6. CNN was right all along- you definitely will die of ebola

7. Like your 13 year-old cousin, Mark Sanford breaks up with his girlfriend on Facebook.

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BTL # 122 - FAKE FRY - 8/25/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Obama administration casually wonders if we should stop arming our local police forces with tanks.  They’ll look into it...

2. ISIS delusionally believes they might take over India and, hell, why now throw in Saudi Arabia too?

3. #HillaryPillory : In the face of challenges from “fringe isolationist” Rand Paul, DNC assures Americans that we will definitely go to war if Hillary is elected.  Whew!

4. Hillary Clinton to headline the Harkin “steak fry,” a kind of “fry” that is mysterious to even born-and-bred Iowan Brent Thornburg.  

5. Unsurprisingly, a MN anti-gay crusader and GOP congressional candidate knows way too much about gay sex.

6. Updates on all of the most important pop culture events of the week: #Jessie Williams, #GreysAnatomy, #TaylorSwift, #MichaelSam, #IceBucketChallenge and more!

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BTL # 121 - HILARIOUS DRUNK PEOPLE - 8/18/14

In Which We Discuss:

1.  RIP Robin Williams.  Your death is at least bringing attention to the dangers of mental illness, which is something even repeated tragic school shootings couldn’t.

2. Ferguson, MO is just the latest in a series of war-torn regions that the American military, ie. a municipal police force, is having to “save” via ruthless military intervention.

3. Rick Perry really doesn’t like hilarious drunk people, is obviously no fun.

4. Nouri al-Maliki is so over it, realizes that fixing Iraq will require somebody with a desire to do so.  

5. Do not even think about nominating us for the ice bucket challenge.  We mean it.

6. As if the fear of your flight just disappearing into thin air isn’t enough, we now have proof that armless pilots are captaining planes.  

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BTL #118 - RIGHT TO REMAIN PARANOID - 7/29/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Israel so over it that Kerry’s not even able to set a date for his next meeting about a meeting

2. A heads up for deal-seekers: Algeria is another nation in the grips of a disappearing aircraft crisis

3. In VA reform fight, entirely reasonable bill supported by Socialists and non-Socialists alike makes its way into rainbow and healthcare-hating Tea Party territory

4. Obama will be impeached for doing productive things while being criticized for not doing productive things under new Ted-Cruz approved GOP plan

5. Sen. Chuck schumes his way into the primary jungle and pisses off the natives

6. Sarah Palin is launching a network offering countless images of an automaton with her face shaking hands with white people of all weights and ages

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BTL #117 - HOW MANY CALIFORNIAS IS ENOUGH? - 7/22/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. CNN granted new lease on life by the latest war-zone air-travel tragedy, now in a position to accidentally report real news.  

2. John Kerry taking his meeting-about-a-meeting diplomacy tour to Israel, plans to offer no concessions to anybody.

3. Granted YMCA camp sounds terrible, but not as terrible as not being able to tell the difference between laughing children and South American refugees.

4. Todd Akin returns just in time to legitimately rape the GOP’s 2014 election prospects.

5. Science finally proves what we’ve always hoped was true -- that conservatives are biologically different.  Too bad they don’t believe in science.

6. This week on Hillary Pillory: Hillary Clinton carries W’s famously compassionate conservative mantle at a true meeting of the minds - an Insurance industry confab.

7. Apparently Silicon Valley technology is now in the business of manufacturing voters to sign the 6 Californias petition.

8. Also, SINKHOLES.  So, like, that.

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BTL #106 - CLINTON 2064 - 4/22/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. Russia signs agreement to track down those dirty scoundrels destabilizing Ukraine, which should be easy because most of those “scoundrels” are Russian military men

2. Final Obamacare numbers show that Californians are just as late to sign up for healthcare as they are to meet you for brunch

3. CNN’s ocean tragedy experts are having a banner year

4. Keystone ambivalents rejoice as Obama announces yet another plan to non-decide on the issue

5. Clintons tee up a potential 2064 presidential campaign with an as yet unborn Clinton spawn on the way

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BTL #104 - 7 MILLION WINNERS - 4/7/14

In Which We Discuss:

1. We lead with two stories we’re thrilled to not have to lead with.  Because of irony.

2. Republicans so enraged by Obamacare’s 7 million enrollees that they accidentally vote on coverage expansion law

3. Get out your checkbook, free speech is now entirely purchasable

4. Americans won’t stand for zero troop death’s abroad in March, start shooting at their favorite murder rampage spot, Fort Hood

5. Climate change is coming for you when you most expect it, which is now

6. US now officially out of government overthrow ideas after failing at Cuban Twitter warfare

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