Brain Trust Live

BTL # 180 - HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS - 12/14/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. 195 Countries are willing to take a chance on believing in climate change, which is a far better percentage than in our own Congress

2. Ted Cruz is the new second-place frontrunner in the GOP primary because...he’s actually in first place somewhere!

3. Trump decides we should ban all Muslims...except the rich/important kind.  So don’t worry, the bin Ladens can still visit you!

4. Just about everybody is threatening to leave the GOP and run independently over a contested convention that hasn’t happened yet

5. The rent is still too damn high, but Jimmy McMillan is retiring so now nobody is working on it

6. America is losing on several fronts most notably the soda, chicken wing, and hippo-related ones

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BTL # 179 - DEADLY MONEY - 12/7/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. When can we start calling the NRA terrorists instead of lobbyists?  Is it now?

2. GOP proposes several strategies to deal with the week’s multiple mass shootings including denial, misplaced blame, and voting no on common sense gun legislation

3. Bernie Sanders is now polling higher against Hillary than Obama was in December of 2007

4. GOP releases plan in case of Trump nomination: ask Senate candidates to wear cooler clothes and dig up tree trunks for a day

5. Senate now only 60 Obamacare repeals behind House in the GOP war of healthcare-hating

6. Ben Carson will the defeat the delicious chickpea-based snack food beloved by millions, fear be damned

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BTL # 178 - ONE EXORCISM IS A-OKAY - 11/23/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Apparently the line in Louisiana politics is TWO prostitution scandals.  Still okay: 1 prostitution scandal, 1 exorcism.

2. Darkhorse candidate “Wouldn’t Vote” sneaking up on Ted Cruz and the other frontrunners in latest GOP polling

3. Julia Brownley, world’s most desperate Democrat, won’t help world’s most desperate refugees

4. Jeb! Bush is the only GOP candidate forgetting to make coded Nazi references in discussion of our refugee policy

5. Anonymous will defeat ISIS using the most annoying meme ever created: we’re apparently “Never Gonna Give You Up” rick-rolling

6. Trump supporters show themselves to be, just as we suspected, a literal racist mob

7. Sarah Palin...is planning to do something - we think - according to what we imagine she was trying to say using a collection of words

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BTL #177 - FRIDAY THE 13TH - 11/17/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Terrorists are out to ruin Lila’s birthday, which is just like terrorists to do

2. Terrible attacks in Western Europe lead many to the discovery that terrorist attacks are happening constantly and all over the world. It’s a dangerous place!

3. GOP Debate #4 ends with a sad plea by moderators promising that economic issues can totally be interesting sometimes

4. Knee-Jerk Hillary Clinton turns out to sound a lot like Rudolph Giuliani at Saturday’s super secret Democratic debate

5. College protests start up in Missouri, end with Yale students hating John Calhoun and Chris Christie hating Obama

6. SCOTUS will now determine whether they meant to give us any abortion rights at all

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BTL #175 - MARAUDING DANGER BLIMP - 11/2/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Paul Ryan is adorably optimistic for a guy who just became House Speaker

2. Maybe the GOP’s distaste for facts explains why their “frontrunner” is in 4th place after the third debate. Has a supposed GOP frontrunner even been in the lead yet?

3. Rubio is on a collision course with fellow candidates and fellow facts 

4. Entire media misses the point of the Sanders campaign in their quest to sensationalize Hillary’s endorsement pick-ups

5. Clinton emails continue to prove that Hillary really really really doesn’t know how to operate a fax machine.  Why was this still a problem in 2012?

6. Military blimp with an adventurous spirit breaks free of its shackles and goes joy-flying around Pennsylvani

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BTL #169 - LABOR DAY - 9/8/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. The latest polls prove that America is ready to accept almost anyone other than another Bush or Clinton

2.  Europe is Shocked, Shocked, SHOCKED that over 3 million Syrians don’t really want to stay in war-torn Syria

3. Hillary Clinton is outed as America’s unsung gefilte fish hero

4. Some enticing offers from the GOP front: Jeb Bush will speak Spanish wherever he damn well pleases, and Donald trump will be “good at the military”

5. Democrats finally rustle up enough Democrats to back Obama’s Democratic Iran deal

6. Thrice married and unwed mother Kim Davis becomes hero for Christians everywhere

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BTL #168 - #SMDWB, THE EPIDEMIC - 8/31/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. “Surprising” new Iowa polls show that everything we’ve always said would happen is happening now in Iowa, where we said it would happen

2. GOP candidates are ready with plans for our next immigration war with...Canada?

3. O’Malley and Sanders are not afraid to get all up in Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s face

4. Apparently stealing a single Mountain Dew while Black (#SMDWB?) in America is yet another offense police punish by death

5. The sanitation strike in Beirut is bad enough that it’s spawned a rare multi-religious movement (as well as great PR for their new sanitation service, Uber)

6. VMA’s are happening.  Ew.

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BTL #165 - HITCHHIKING FOR ROBOTS - 8/3/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. First GOP debate just days away and there is no way to discredit Trump in time.  Lookout!

2.  Huckabee plans to distinguish himself before the debates as the only candidate ready to call the military in to stop your abortion

3. Obama will introduce new climate change measures, but not in time to stop this nightmarish heatwave in Iran

4. Black lives may not matter to some Americans, but lion lives sure do.  A dead lion trumps another police murder as the week’s top story. 

5. Send your computer friends to Canada, guys.  Turns out American streets are not safe for hitchhiking robots.  

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BTL #163 - MAVERICK TWITTER WARS - 7/20/15

In Which We Discuss:

1. Heartbreak in the war hawk community as Iran nuclear deal robs them of a reason to rumble

2. As if just living in Tennessee isn’t its own brand of terror, their standard American-issue mass shootings are now getting complicated by non-redneck political ideologies

3. Donald Trump picks fights with “maverick” John McCain, but luckily for everyone he also picked a fight with Mexican drug lord El Chapo so somebody may rid us of the Trump problem soon anyway

4. Democrats first “cattle call” gives Iowa party activists a look at all 5 candidates, leaving many of them to wonder...Hey, what are most of you guys doing here?

5. Phoenix feels the Bern with the biggest campaign rally of the season.  For anybody wondering, that does mean Sherrif Arpaio's Arizona just had the biggest rally of the season for a Socialist. 

6. Oklahomans are residents of a state that didn’t exist at the time of the civil war and they are also people that just waved the confederate flag at Obama.  That kind of sums up what’s going on in Oklahoma.

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BTL #162 - THE DEFINITION OF UNITY IS HATING TIME WARNER - 7/12/15

In Which We Discuss:

1.  Bernie Sanders hates your cable company just as much as you, and that’s why he’s can be the President.

2. Alan Grayson has a novel idea: running as an actual Democrat in a Democratic primary.  Guess who the establishment people are supporting…

3. Donald Trump reminds us that he’s, “like, a really smart person.”  His surge in the polls proves that Republican primary voters are, like, really dumb people.

4. Jeb Bush currently has all the money but don’t worry, if you work longer hours it’ll trickle down.  That’s worked in history, right?

5.  If Germany can Shock Doctrine Greece, does this mean that California can Shock Doctrine Kansas and get rid of Sam Brownback?

6.Why can Republicans never remember the third thing?  Now even Texas border states are suffering from this scourge.

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