In Which We Discuss:

1. An Olympics grudge match leaves the US stuck with Justin Bieber for another four years

2. Sochi, surprisingly, goes off without a hitch.  Sadly the rest of the world is falling apart.

3. Colorado marijuana tax revenue will now go to plans to ensure they have no more marijuana tax revenue

4. According to Tom Delay, the bestselling author of the Bible apparently also founded the most powerful nation in the world.  Busy guy.

5. Ted Nugent doing some serious projecting with his “subhuman mongrel” criticism of Obama

6. Birther Queen real estate dentist lawyer Orly Taitz looks to top her 3% haul of votes in 2012 in her race for Attorney General

In Which We Discuss:

1. Sochi’s top notch commentators lead us to discover the greatest Olympic sport that never was.

2. Obama golf vacation unexpectedly interrupted by GOP reasonableness sneak attack.

3. President figures that since everybody is calling it “Obamacare,” he can make it up as he goes.

4.  Instead of learning from George Zimmerman’s mistakes, Floridians are giving him money.

5. Sinkholes not afraid to show their taste for cheesy classic cars

6.  National Crisis Alert: clown shortage only getting worse

In Which We Discuss:

1.  Most hated Winter Olympics in recent memory wins us over with extra figure skating events.

2.  Republicans vow to do nothing in 2014, still think you’re lazy for wanting health insurance.

3.  Los Angeles congressional primary to pit the vaguely “spiritual” against the fully exasperating  (#whitepeopleproblems)

4. Charlie Crist runs in gubernatorial election on the hope that Florida will get less horrible over time.

5. Women no longer have to worry about their libidos after hearing Mike Huckabee say “sexual drive” on national television.

6. New evidence proves that God didn’t do much historical research before penning the Bible.

In Which We Discuss:

1.  Denver Bronco fans will need all the weed they can get their hands on after this week’s embarrassing Super Bowl whipping by the Seattle Seahawk-Pelicans.

2.  Chris Christie scrawls “liar” on David Wildstein’s locker, gets suspended.

3.  Tuesday’s State of the Union inspires a four-headed GOP inequality godzilla response monster.

4.  GOP issues half-hearted memo promising that they’ll totally try to work on immigration this time, guys.

5.  Trio of groundhog weather-predicting experts anticipates six more weeks of winter one week to late to save Atlanta from two inches of treacherous snow.

6.  Not even Herman Cain has ruled out running for President in 2016.

7. Calls to deport Justin Bieber reach fever pitch amidst Rob Ford City Hall tickle fight.  Canada continues to be just everything.

8.  R.I.P. Pete Seeger.  We'll miss you but we'll keep singing along.

("If I Had a Hammer" clip is from a 1963 recording of Pete Seeger live in Australia)

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